Why women date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Affairs can be loaded with evils, cause heartache, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, funds, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating for married.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are people seeking affairs. I suppose mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You would need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a male I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.